Sunday, April 21, 2013

The Daily Sky: Mercury Square Pluto

And now, a handy English-Lithuanian Translation Guide For Native English Speakers On Vacation::

***

"Excuse me, but can you tell me which way to the train station?"

HEY! HEY YOU! WHERE THE HELL IS THE DAMNED TRAIN STATION?


"Can you please direct me to an affordable restaurant?"

DAMMIT I HAVEN'T EATEN ALL DAY LONG! WHERE DO YOU PEOPLE KEEP THE FOOD HERE? AND DON'T SCREW ME ON THE PRICE!


"Does anyone here speak English?"

HEY! I'M TALKIN' TO YOU! ARE YOU LISTENING? AT ALL? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?


"Please help me. I require assistance."

WE COULD NUKE THIS PLACE OFF THE MAP IN AN INSTANT, PAL!

***

Today's lesson: if your message isn't getting through, maybe turning the volume up isn't really going to help.





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